The Jew lady left one of her books on the kitchen table today with a bird on its cover. "Cool, a book about animals!" I thought to myself. I knew the Jew lady liked buying animals, but I didn't know she liked reading about them. Curious, I convinced Myshkin to start reading to me, since I am illiterate and was in my cage. It soon became clear that the book was not about animals. It was a story called "The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle" by a Japanese guy who must be really, really messed up in the head. But Myshkin read me the whole thing, and what better use of my doggy blog than to tell you what I think of it? So here's my first doggy book review!
The story is about a guy named Toru. Toru has a wife (Kumiko) who works, an uncle he likes, and a brother-of-wife (Noboru) he hates. He also has a cat, but the cat is gone most of time. This guy Toru is super boring. He sits at home all day, but it's not his job. He used to have a job, but he quit, so he sits at home all day with no job. If I had to sit here all day without my employment, and without Wolfman and Jew lady, I would be so bored. But Toru gets to poop in the house and doesn't have to stay in his cage, so it's easier for him than finding new employment.
Even though Toru is very boring, weird and interesting stuff happens to him all the time. In the first chapter, a strange woman calls him and tries to have sex with him on the telephone. Toru doesn't want to though. I didn't even know humans can have sex on the phone, but Myshkin says Japanese humans can. Later Toru starts having sex with a prostitute in his dreams, except it's also real. That really confused me, but apparently it also confused Toru. We were both pretty confused for most of the book. Toru also has a problem where he sometimes has sex with his pants by accident. Those parts made me glad I don't have to wear pants.
Despite the weird stuff, things start out pretty normal for Toru, except that a girl licks his arm one time. Then his wife Kumiko doesn't come home one day, or the next. She's gone without a trace! Things get weird much faster after that. Toru still doesn't do much. He doesn't even vomit on the floor like I would. Instead of going out and looking for Kumiko, he does the opposite: he finds a big hole in the ground and sits at the bottom of it. At first it seems dumb, but later you realize he's looking for Kumiko while he's down in that hole. Instead of getting close to her in the real world, he gets close to her in his mind world, where things happen apart from the real world but still affect it. The Kumiko in the mind world is different, she says different things and has a different voice. But at the same time, it's as if she's part of the real Kumiko, the one Toru is trying to find, and by finding the other Kumiko, he can find Kumiko in the real world.
Toru does do a few things later in the book. He gets a new toy by beating up a guy. That wasn't very nice, but the guy who got beat up was laughing so maybe it was fun for him. Toru also stares at people on the street for a while. Then he meets a woman who gives him a job so he can stay in that hole. He lets women lick his face, and they pay him because it makes him feel better. That happens to me too when I lick Wolfman and Jew lady in their faces, but I don't have to pay, it's a perk of my employment!
Toru also hears some pretty gross stories. In one, a guy is skinned alive, and the storyteller gets thrown naked into a hole (not Toru's hole, a different one in Mongolia) but gets rescued later. Another story is about the girl who has dream sex with him, Creta. But the scariest story is about some Japanese soldiers killing zoo animals. The animals were in cages like me, and they couldn't run or fight back when the soldiers came to shoot them. This was the scariest part of the whole book, even though the Wolfman and Jew lady would never let anyone shoot me.
In some ways, I could really relate to the people in the story. Getting licked all the time, for example. I also like the other-world idea. Sometimes I wonder if Myshkin is from a different world than I am. Maybe that's why he can't talk. Or maybe he just doesn't feel like talking to me. I think he was traumatized by this book, so reading it to me probably didn't help our relationship. But we agreed it was a good story. We're also really glad we're animals in the U.S., not in Japan. Too much weird stuff happens there.
This book was so exciting, I peed all over the floor. Also, everyone dies at the end...
... JUST KIDDING!!! ;-)
- Blog Gately
The story is about a guy named Toru. Toru has a wife (Kumiko) who works, an uncle he likes, and a brother-of-wife (Noboru) he hates. He also has a cat, but the cat is gone most of time. This guy Toru is super boring. He sits at home all day, but it's not his job. He used to have a job, but he quit, so he sits at home all day with no job. If I had to sit here all day without my employment, and without Wolfman and Jew lady, I would be so bored. But Toru gets to poop in the house and doesn't have to stay in his cage, so it's easier for him than finding new employment.
Even though Toru is very boring, weird and interesting stuff happens to him all the time. In the first chapter, a strange woman calls him and tries to have sex with him on the telephone. Toru doesn't want to though. I didn't even know humans can have sex on the phone, but Myshkin says Japanese humans can. Later Toru starts having sex with a prostitute in his dreams, except it's also real. That really confused me, but apparently it also confused Toru. We were both pretty confused for most of the book. Toru also has a problem where he sometimes has sex with his pants by accident. Those parts made me glad I don't have to wear pants.
Despite the weird stuff, things start out pretty normal for Toru, except that a girl licks his arm one time. Then his wife Kumiko doesn't come home one day, or the next. She's gone without a trace! Things get weird much faster after that. Toru still doesn't do much. He doesn't even vomit on the floor like I would. Instead of going out and looking for Kumiko, he does the opposite: he finds a big hole in the ground and sits at the bottom of it. At first it seems dumb, but later you realize he's looking for Kumiko while he's down in that hole. Instead of getting close to her in the real world, he gets close to her in his mind world, where things happen apart from the real world but still affect it. The Kumiko in the mind world is different, she says different things and has a different voice. But at the same time, it's as if she's part of the real Kumiko, the one Toru is trying to find, and by finding the other Kumiko, he can find Kumiko in the real world.
Toru does do a few things later in the book. He gets a new toy by beating up a guy. That wasn't very nice, but the guy who got beat up was laughing so maybe it was fun for him. Toru also stares at people on the street for a while. Then he meets a woman who gives him a job so he can stay in that hole. He lets women lick his face, and they pay him because it makes him feel better. That happens to me too when I lick Wolfman and Jew lady in their faces, but I don't have to pay, it's a perk of my employment!
Toru also hears some pretty gross stories. In one, a guy is skinned alive, and the storyteller gets thrown naked into a hole (not Toru's hole, a different one in Mongolia) but gets rescued later. Another story is about the girl who has dream sex with him, Creta. But the scariest story is about some Japanese soldiers killing zoo animals. The animals were in cages like me, and they couldn't run or fight back when the soldiers came to shoot them. This was the scariest part of the whole book, even though the Wolfman and Jew lady would never let anyone shoot me.
In some ways, I could really relate to the people in the story. Getting licked all the time, for example. I also like the other-world idea. Sometimes I wonder if Myshkin is from a different world than I am. Maybe that's why he can't talk. Or maybe he just doesn't feel like talking to me. I think he was traumatized by this book, so reading it to me probably didn't help our relationship. But we agreed it was a good story. We're also really glad we're animals in the U.S., not in Japan. Too much weird stuff happens there.
This book was so exciting, I peed all over the floor. Also, everyone dies at the end...
... JUST KIDDING!!! ;-)
- Blog Gately
